Now that I am finally back home and beginning to return to earth, this is my take on THE ABBA GENERATION weekend. I thought it was fabulous, fabulous, fabulous!!!!! and for me it was also an extremely important weekend.

I have been into ABBA since I was 10 and this has tended to be somewhat annoying to those around me for as long as I can remember. It has meant that I didn't really play ABBA regularly for the last 20 yrs and only got the old albums out during the hard times when I wanted some comfort. I didn't even know ABBA were having a resurgence in the rest of the world until two years ago.

On 23rd November 1997 my father was killed in a horriffic car accident. As well as losing him, I found the circumstances of the accident really hard to handle. The car caught fire and dad was burnt. The other driver had crossed the centre line.

For the first year I felt really regressed and have no memory of much that happened that year. I began to play ABBA all the time. Just before dad died I got onto the internet and not long after, began searching for ABBA. Eventually I discovered ABBAMAIL and soon after this the Sydney convention was announced.

With the 2nd anniversary of the accident coming up I wasn't really sure what to expect. I still have flashbacks, but on the whole I'm OK. I knew that the anniversary would bring stuff up, but thought it couldn't be too bad. It was a weird coincidence that THE ABBA GENERATION was organised for 20-21 November. I couldn't imagine a better way to get through this time and to celebrate the end of my last year of training.

On Thursday, following my last class of the year, I met my friend Karen and we raced to the Auckland airport. We arrived very late because of the Auckland traffic - not good at the best of times - and leaped aboard the plane to Sydney. This was my first visit to Australia. Determined to have fun we started some serious drinking and raucous laughing until the man sitting with us moved. I guess he wanted to sleep. We arrived at about 8.30pm Aussie time and were met by a friend of Karen's and her husband. This was a little strange as I did not know the friend and there were lots of in jokes happening so I was happy to go to bed.

I woke at 6am partly due to the fact that this is 8am NZ time, but also because of the incredibly loud birds you guys have in Australia. I later discovered that these were those laughing things, but I didn't think it was at all funny!!! Karen and I caught the bus into the city. On the way we spoke to many friendly Australians who told us how to get to our destination. I was really impressed and liked the place immediately. This would never happen in NZ. Perhaps people are just more friendly to people who are obviously visitors (maybe Australians are more friendly).

We ended up at the harbour where we drank coffee and talked practically all day and then looked around the markets. Once I had bought the necessary bits and pieces for nieces and nephews I was quite keen to get a wig. Unfortunately they didn't have a colour to suit. I really can't wear blonde, it absolutely does not work!!! (sorry Agnetha Armada) I thought purple would be nice, but they didn't have one.

When the market closed we checked into our hotel in the centre of Sydney and then went off to see some fireworks at the harbour. I have no idea what the occasion was, but it was very good anyway. After this we continued to talk until about 3am. There's no stopping us when we get together. Especially when Karen has just had hoards of Aussie men hitting on her all evening. This always intrigues me. At this juncture I could really identify with Frida 'the other one'. As you may be able to tell, I was a Frida fan just waiting to happen.

The Saturday finally arrived. I was feeling pretty nervous. These fan types could be complete psychos. Karen and I worked out our safety plan and I set off for the Furama as indicated on the map I had been given by a friendly travel agent. Only thing was, the circle was around the wrong Furama - there are 2!!! Or so I discovered when I found myself in a bedroom on the 11th fl (not a conference room). The nice man at reception gave me another map with the correct destination circled and I began the 15 min walk. I probably looked a little harassed as I arrived, but there didn't seem to be any need as everyone was arriving at a leisurely pace. I was shown to my table, by I know not who, as I tend to get out of it when I'm stressed at the thought of meeting a whole load of new people. The first person I remember meeting was an extremely friendly person called Peter. Thank goodness for you, as out there as I am not. From this point on I didn't look back.

The weekend was brilliant. I had not seen any of the video stuff, nor had I heard before the solo material. I was completely fixated while Shelley talked and I laughed till I was almost crying when ABBALLET was shown. Extremely therapeutic. When Graeme asked if there were any dancers in the room I was too afraid to admit after the display we had just witnessed, but I was for practically my whole life until I had an accident and damaged my knee. So I was trying to picture what I would choreograph to some of the music I had heard over the weekend. I think you could do some wonderful contemporary dance to Frida's Djupa Andetag.

As a result of discovering this album I have joined the ranks of the Frida fraternity - with a little encouragement from those Frida fans at my table namely Fiona Metcalfe and James O'Brien. But, really - Frida is one classy woman.

 The trivia contest was fun too and amazingly I had the answer to one of the questions and it was even right. Our team 'The useless appendages', came second. It was interesting to note that the team that came first had the other NZer in it. Yay for the NZ contingent.

The swap meet was great and I got a chance to see many of the things I have only seen in pictures, actually in the flesh. I also found the book ABBA by Harry Edgington. My chance to read something from back then in all its cornyness. Who was that nice person who gave me this for nothing? I didn't ask your name and wish I had.

 By the Saturday night people were beginning to lose their name badges with changes of clothes etc - I'm guilty too. This meant though that there are quite a few whose names I never really knew and would have liked to. The club-ABBA was a blast. We danced til we could have dropped and as a result some of us experienced pain in particular appendages (nothing to do with Ahmit and Danni, probably more useful) and these parts no doubt did drop (permanently). The marketing manager will know what I mean (me too, believe it or not!).

The merhandise was great! - almost made me bankrupt, but I'll be back. The whole weekend felt like being on another planet - a happy one!!! Everyone was really friendly and I felt included though I had known nobody to begin. Australians are actually quite nice!!!!! despite their strange accents and weird humour. I had the greatest weekend and I now so regret that I have not been full on into ABBA all these years. I would proabably have gone to other conventions. It was alarming for me to discover that although ABBA are as popular as ever (or is this wrong) support for conventions is diminishing. Does this mean I'll never get to experience another ABBA convention???? I need an excuse to come back to Sydney.

At the end of the weekend I was in danger of experiencing an anti-climax, until Fiona suggested dinner. I tried to sell ABBA to some poor waiter who had no idea what it was all about, but he was into it anyway. I was starting to feel crazy already and on Monday things really went downhill. I went to the exhibition at the NSW art gallery which featured among other greats some of the work of Michelangelo. I was particularly drawn to the one of Tityus who was drawn having his liver eaten out by a large bird. On the other side he is drawn resurrected. The drawing is based on the myth in which he committed a sexual sin and was cursed to continue having his liver eaten because he was always resurrected. In those days the liver was thought to be the seat of the emotions as the heart is generally depicted in modern times. I thought that this is alot like grief. The torture goes on and on. When I had seen the exhibition I felt very strange and then followed a series of events involving my being lost, confused, forgetting things and meeting places and losing my gear incl "AS I AM" which I had just bought.

Finally I caught a taxi to the airport. I was completely disoriented and felt like I needed to get home as soon as possible. At home I felt like SHIT!!!!! Strangely I couldn't work out what was wrong with me so I went to therapy. It feels like I have been crying for a week now, but I have also done some really deep work that is helping me to get free of the things in my relationship with dad that have kept me from really living.

Coming to Sydney and some of the events over the weekend have been the catalyst for this. I think I really needed to come to this convention. Not only was it a fabulous weekend and I discovered heaps more about my favourite group, but I met some really cool and knowledgeable people, had loads of fun and learnt more about myself. I couldn't have spent this tragic anniversary in a better way.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU so much to those who organised it - I think you guys are great!!!!!!!!!!

Diana -  Auckland, New Zealand