Grant & Graeme visit London (the Marcus Tustin version)

Well, both Graeme and Grant have left London now, Graeme two weeks ago, and Grant more than a week ago, but I still think it's not too late to diarise their time here insofar as it was spent with me.

Graeme was the first to arrive here in the U.K., on the Wednesday (September 17th) morning, but we didn't hook up until the Saturday, September 20th. I had only met Graeme a few times previously, but after a hug and a kiss hello, we were like old friends reunited and we just got straight back into the swing of things, nattering, bitching, etc. We met outside the Nike Town store at Oxford Circus and it was hot and sunny, and so we headed straight for the Duke of Wellington pub, in the heart of Soho and the gay village, pub for a cold drink and a natter. I had promised Graeme that whilst the ground floor was mostly standing area, the pub had an almost lounge-like upstairs, full of comfy sofas and armchairs surrounding coffee tables. But guess what - the upstairs doesn't open 'til 6pm. This was around 3.30pm. So we had a few drinks in the downstairs part, next to some very Queeny Frenchman, and then walked down Old Compton Street, passed the Prince Edward, so Graeme felt contractually bound to have a gawp at the pictures outside and we both had a gander at the merchandise on sale inside.

Oh, Graeme was pleased as punch with his reconditioned UK mobile 'phone, which did seem like a good deal, and, of course, he's got it forever now, so can use it on all his future trips to Blighty. Then, we walked up to The Edge bar on Soho Square and bought drinks and took them outside into the Square to talk and sit on a bench and watch the World go by. We then got some chips (fries) at this Falaffel place on Old Compton Street, where I fell in lust with one of the guys working there (although he had serious bad hair issues), and I left Graeme around 7.30pm as I had to go out, but we arranged to meet up on "New Release Monday"(R) for a schlep around HMV which had yet another "Biggest Ever" sale on!!

So, on Monday 22nd September, I met Graeme outside HMV and we cruised HMV and bought CD singles, CD albums (sale ones!), found Cilla Black's new CD, but I decided that I wasn't paying £13.99 for it at HMV when I could get it for a tenner elsewhere, and we also purchased a sale price DVD or two. Then, on the recommendation of Trent (I think), we walked down Berwick Street to the Fish & Chip shop in the street market, and tried to get just a plate of chips to sit and eat in the restaurant area, but they wouldn't serve us just chips, even though the place was 75% empty - we had to order a meal, i.e. something and chips. Chips only is takeaway only. What bollocks! So, we got take out and walked towards Soho Square to eat them there, but had to take shelter as a rain shower suddenly fell upon us. So, I checked out guys at the ATM across Dean Street from our shelter, whilst we noshed our chips. Then, I needed to get back to work, so I took Graeme around to my office to show him where my hive of industry is located, and then we parted.

On Tuesday, Graeme was with Icey in Brighton, so on Wednesday, we met up again for lunch and I'm buggered if I can remember a thing that we did. Graeme? I recall we bumped into two of my ex-colleagues and Graeme seemed delighted when I introduced him to them as the guy who runs ABBAMAIL and they both knew about ABBAMAIL and what it is - all my friends do. Many of them have checked out the website more than once, even though they're not especially big ABBA fans. They know what ABBAMAIL means to me! I'm pretty sure that on my insistence Graeme and I went back to the Falaffel place on Old Compton Street to check out the sexy guy, who was still sexy, but his hair was still a bloody awful mess too. Mind you, nothing that a hair clipper set to grade number 2 couldn't easily remedy! Oh, and the chips were nice too. Then it was back to the orifice for me, and that was that as t'were.

I didn't see Graeme on Thursday, and early on Friday, 26th, Grant arrived at Heathrow from Copenhagen. Grant was staying with me whilst he was in London, so I was there to meet him at the airport and it was great to see him again too. He sent me an SMS from the baggage hall to say that he had arrived, but that there was a delay as there was a small fire in the baggage hall area, and I got the sums about 4pm on the Monday - three days later!! What's that all about??!! Anyway, we drove home discussing the happy news from that morning that the BBC is bringing DOCTOR WHO back. Yay!! I had previously said that I wouldn't be bothered if they never did bring it back, as I doubted their ability to recreate it as a watchable program today, but now the news is "official", I am excited and anxious to see what Russell T Davies does with the show.

Once Grant was settled in at my place, and given me my packet of Tim Tams (I've been coffee dunking them ever since!), for which big hugs, Grant, we called Graeme and arranged to meet him outside Nike Town at Oxford Circus, so Grant and I took the bus, which goes from practically outside my front door to Oxford Circus in 30 minutes (except on a Wednesday evening when it's pissing down raining, huh Grant? :o)) and is by far the best way for Grant to get into Town from my place. Anyway, we hooked up with Graeme, and Grant wanted to go to HMV straight away, so we went there and spent quite a bit of time there buying more stuff in their sale!

We then went down to the Falaffel place for another ogle at the cute guy there (still no improvement on the hair front!), I mean, for more chips, and then headed to Leicester Square to see whether "Phantom Of The Opera" tickets were being sold at the half-price ticket booth there, but they weren't, so we went to the Theatre where "Phantom" is playing, as Grant wanted to check whether there was any night that Niklas thingummy didn't play, but, and I wasn't really listening to this bit, it seemed like the person behind the box office, who very helpfully hardly spoke any English, didn't know. So we de-camped to the Village pub in Soho (the upstairs at the Duke of Wellington once again not being open yet) for a beer and about three hours later rolled out of there, somewhat tipsy and staggered back to Oxford Circus, where we had to take shelter from another deluge of rain. Graeme then headed back to his hotel and Grant and I caught the bus back home and watched TV and then hit the sack.

On Saturday, Grant and I chilled at the house, did some shopping, and then cooked and ate dinner whilst watching POP IDOL, which is just excellent again this year, and then we hit Town for the first of two trips to Porters Bar on Poland Street. It was on this occasion that the waiter tipped a tray of drinks over Kyle's jacket and seemed more concerned that some of it had gone over his Gucci loafers or whatever they were. Porters of course closes at 11pm - ridiculous for a Saturday night!! Thankfully the law on pub opening times is changing.

Anyways, we were going to go somewhere on Old Compton Street but that had closed too, so we ended up in Barcode, even the gorgeous Julie Rickwood (although there's no reason why she shouldn't go there of course!), a favourite haunt of mine, I must say, where Cliff and I decided to mark guys who passed between us on their way to the bathroom, out of 10 as they went by. Well, it kept us amused for an hour or so! When Barcode closed at 2am, Luke and Graeme, along with Andre (although they lost him), headed off to XXL , and Graeme has written extensively about that, but there's not a lot I can say about it anyway as I didn't go!

Again, on Sunday, Grant and I chilled out chez moi. Grant watched a DOCTOR WHO DVD and I pottered around doing a few household chores. Then, Graeme came over and we watched some ABBA DVD's of rare programs and clips that Grant had picked up from one of our fellow ABBAMAILers, although I can't remember which one, and we were all three of us mightily impressed by the good quality. DVDs are definitely the way forward!

After that, we headed up to The StockPot on the King's Road in Chelsea for a "cheap but cheerful" meal, and then on to the Queen's Head, a gay pub in Chelsea on Tryon Street. Graeme remembered it from a previous trip, even that the street that it's on began with a "T". I was impressed! Graeme quickly became keen on one of the barmen, the young, blond one, surprise surprise :o), who exchanged more than a few glances with Graeme, but Graeme wasn't going to pounce with Grant and I around, I fear. So, after a few drinks, I drove Graeme back to his hotel and Grant and I came back to...Scrabble! Scrabble is my dog - a Weimaraner.

Hans, my ex and co-owner of Scrabble, had had her for the weekend so that Grant could settle in without her fussing around, but she was back now, so she and Grant got acquainted and then it was late, plus I had work the next day, so we all hit the sack. I wasn't sure whether Grant was a "dog" person, and Scrabble is big and kind of hard to miss, so it was a relief that Grant seemed to like her and she warmed to him, too. Anyone who knows Scrabble will know that despite her good-naturedness, she's not the most affectionate of dogs or easy to warm to as she's kind of aloof. But by the end of the week, Grant was getting a good welcome and a wag of the tail when he came home from being out, and he seemed happy to sit with her and give her a pat and a stroke, so that was a relief.

On "New Release Monday"(R) G&G came to the office to pick Scrabble and I up, and we went off to HMV for our usual wander and buy. Then, we went to The King's Head pub on Poland Street, next to Porters Bar, for a beer, and no, Scrabble didn't really have any beer or pork scratchings! I thought everyone would realise that Graeme was only kidding when he wrote that. For the record, she had nothing. And that was it for Graeme and I this trip. He was away to Hawaii on the Wednesday, so we had a big hug and a kiss and a goodbye, and they disappeared off into the Soho sun! Still miss you Graeme, it was great fun having you here, spending time with you and seeing you really relaxed and happy and it seemed without a worry in the world! Really hope that you can come back next year so that we can do it all again. Oh, and I don't have you to use as my excuse to go back to the Falaffel place now!

I didn't see much of Grant on Tuesday as he was off with Gustav and/or his Dusty pals, but Wednesday evening was soon upon us and our second trip to Porters in a week! I arranged to meet Grant there, and I was late as I got held up in terrible traffic on Vauxhall Bridge! But when I did get there, all the effort doing so was worth it as there was a huge gathering of UK ABBAMAILers, plus guest of honour Grant, too! Frank was there, as was Ritchie, Luke showed up all the way from Portsmouth again and went to XXL clubbing again afterwards (are there no limits to your energy, Luke?), and of course, regulars like Cliff, Paul, Kyle, Julie, Andre "you can't stop the music" Hyde and Icey were there too. Apologies to anyone whose name I have inadvertently omitted. It was a great night - in fact, we had two absolutely fabulous nights out at Porters whilst one or both of the two G's were here. I hope both guys can make it back to the UK at some point next year so that we can do it all again!

Thursday evening, Grant was at "The Phantom of the Opera", and I was supposed to be going to the "Kill Bill Volume 1" premiere in Leicester Square, complete with Mr Tarantino and Ms Thurman in attendance, but my dog decided to throw a wobbly and almost entirely lose the use of her back legs whilst I was getting ready, so of course I couldn't go as I was so panicked about her, and my tickets to the premiere went to waste. I've since paid to see the film and it's really good - don't believe the notices that say it's an over-indulgent muddle. It is indulgent, Tarantino is indulgent, but it is a very intelligent film, and the violence is so surreal, that it has an almost comic-like feel to it and therefore is not that gruesome. Anyway, Grant came back from "Phantom..." full of how good the show was, and I was just sorry for him that I wasn't more into hearing about it, but I was really shit-scared with what seemed to be happening to Scrabble. For anyone concerned, she's since made a full recovery and it seems that what happened was caused by a pinched nerve and muscular spasm. Her back muscles are still a bit sore, but she's on a non-steroid anti-inflammatory, on the mend and is bouncing around now as ever before.

On the Friday evening, Grant took me out to supper to say thanks for letting him stay, which was unnecessary as it was great to have him to stay, but a very much appreciated gesture nonetheless! We just walked to a little Italian restaurant in Battersea and had a very nice meal and a chat and then a bevy or two in the pub next door. It was really nice to chat and hang out together - I realised that despite his staying with me, I'd hardly seen Grant all week. When we got home, we listened to Cilla Black CD's and watched "Doctor Who" clips off the BBC website on the computer and just generally had a good fun time. It was very relaxed, very chilled, and very nice.

I didn't see much of Grant over his last weekend here. He was out 'til all hours on Saturday with Frank and Paul, whilst I was at a mate's birthday dinner. On Sunday, I had to go see my parents as it was my Mother's birthday, and Grant, who I think was a bit hung-over from the night before :o), just hung out and chilled locally. We stayed in on Sunday evening and I made poor Grant watch this awful soap-drama thing that the BBC produces called MONARCH OF THE GLEN, which I'm kind of ashamed to say I'm hooked to. Grant said that they show it in Oz but that he'd never watched it. I don't think I converted him that night! :o)

Monday I was at work and Grant was out with his Dusty friends. When he got back mid-evening, he started packing as he was leaving for L.A. the next day. On Tuesday morning, I drove him out to the airport for his flight to L.A. and that was it - suddenly, both G's were gone and the reality that their visit here had ended sunk in.

I hope that both Graeme and Grant had a great time here. Graeme certainly seemed to completely relax, chill out and just go with it whilst he was here and it was great to read about how recharged and renewed he felt when he got back to Oz, despite Air Crapada doing their best to upset him. I felt like I got to know him much better and understand him much more this trip. I hope that this trip hasn't completely crucified you financially, Graeme, and that you find a job soon. In the meantime, thank you for coming to the UK, for your friendship, and, of course, for ABBAMAIL.

As for Grant, we had a great time together, we get on so well and share so many interests in common aside from ABBA: Cilla, Doctor Who, etc., so it was wonderful to have a friend who I can sit down and really chat about these things with. Come back any time, Grant - you're always welcome here. In the meantime, have a great flight back to Oz from L.A.

Well done to anyone who's read all of that and made it to here - you deserve some kind of medal.

Marcus Tustin, London, England